Valerie Bertinelli has shared candid reflections on her romantic life following two divorces. The 65-year-old actress revealed in a recent interview with People that she has “never really experienced” real love despite her past marriages.
Bertinelli was married to musician Eddie Van Halen, with whom she had a son in 1991. Their marriage ended before Van Halen died in 2020 after a long battle with cancer. Later, she was married to Tom Vitale from 2011 until their divorce in 2022.
Reflecting on her relationships, Bertinelli described feeling like a failure after two divorces. She expressed uncertainty about what real or true love actually means, saying her connection with Van Halen was the closest she ever came to experiencing it fully, but only in brief moments.
Since her divorce from Vitale, Bertinelli went public with a new boyfriend, Mike Goodnough, but they parted ways within a year. She has admitted that trust issues and concerns over emotional safety have made her hesitant to pursue serious romantic relationships.
The actress emphasized the importance of feeling safe and secure in love. Despite this, she acknowledged a pattern of initially feeling secure with partners who later changed, which affected her trust.
Looking forward, Bertinelli remains open to romance but is cautious about diving in. She stated that she is content being alone because it feels safer than engaging in uncertain relationships. She has learned that emotional security is a priority and that “limerence”—the anxiety-filled butterflies often mistaken for love—is not what she desires.
Bertinelli also outlined what she seeks in a future partner. She wants someone with whom she can share mutual emotional safety and vulnerability. She hopes to protect her partner’s vulnerabilities as well, a dynamic she feels she has not yet experienced in her past relationships.
After her second divorce, the actress admitted to feeling frustrated with men, even saying, “I hate men.” However, she has since softened this stance and is willing to be open to love under the right circumstances.
She acknowledged that true love, when it happens, can be magical but also recognizes the possibility that it may not come. Bertinelli expressed satisfaction with her current life and her ambivalence toward sharing it with a man unless the connection feels right.
Valerie Bertinelli’s reflections highlight how complex and personal the journey through love and relationships can be, especially after significant experiences like divorce. They also underscore the vital role of trust and emotional safety in forming lasting bonds.
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